I stole a lot. Tons, even. If you've ever tried game sharing with me you'll know I'm totally apprehensive about it. But I'm not talking about piracy, more like impulse control. Pogs, collectable card games, video games, books, all kinds of shit I would lift from friends or stores. Mostly friends. I wasn't really a troublemaking kid, really rarely found myself in a situation to cause havoc beyond skipping through someone's backyard as a shortcut.
I was chased by the cops a couple of times. Chased or followed or whatever. Me and a (dumb) pal snuck into the construction site for a new park and poked around until a cruiser rolled by. I ruined a pair of pants on the fence and we had to slog through the river to escape. Said friend almost fell into a pit in said shallow river.
What else...whatelsewhatelsewhatelse...I liked spraypainting things. Nothing severe, just funny bullshit like 'ASS CAT' and 'DOOKIE BROS.'
When I was really little I took my dog for a walk in a rainstorm and totally took a dump in my school's playground, went to school the next day and explained to everyone who would listen that I saw the person who did it; it was a very old man with a very old dog. Foolproof.
I have significantly more interesting adventures to tell but I'll need drugs for those. STAY TUNED.
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I see you jockin' me.
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