Interesting enough, I haven't seen much poetry here lately (then again, I've been a bit unattentive of the threads these past few weeks). If you wrote this on a whim, solely to celebrate your joining, it's not bad at all, although I couldn't help looking at it with a critical eye.
Unless the missing punctuation and lack of capital letters ("rupture farms", etc.) is supposed to be an intentional stylistic move to reflect the writing capability, or the lack thereof, of the speaker Slig, I would have went over the whole poem once more to correct them.
I didn't get some of the imagery, and the phrasing/colloquialisms seem to be off here and there, that's something you could look out for in the future (e.g. "listen loud and clear").
Nonetheless, well done, I had my attempts at writing poetry, and I know how hard can it be to get the lines, the rhyming and the imagery just right. And welcome to the Forums.
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