After browsing this thread and then thinking a little, I think I know what my stance on this is.
It’s really simple: I don’t make jokes regarding physical appearance (or other sensitive subjects) if I don’t know the audience well.
If the people you are telling a joke to are people that you know, and you know their sensibilities and their taste in humor, you probably know whether or not they would enjoy a joke about, say, ginger hair. You would know if they would be offended or take it seriously.
You wouldn’t tell an insensitive joke to the person sitting next to you on the bus. You might tell an insensitive joke to a close friend, if you and they both know that neither of you would actually take the joke seriously.
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