You're thinking of the Professor of Applied Anthropics. And that was from Hogfather.
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Well if there are Gods I'll be happy. If it's the Christian God then hell I got it right, Amen brudda.
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But if there is a God and it's not the Christian one, S/He'll be pissed off that you weren't worshipping Xer. Best to hope that there isn't any god at all.
Yes, it's Paschal's Wager for the 21st century!