i once fractured my ribs when a cow kicked me in the chest. i don't remember the pain though, because i was too preoccupied with the sensation. i thought the kick had somehow triggered a heart attack, seeing as i couldn't breath or speak and it felt like my lungs were swelling up and trying to squeeze through my ribs. it passed after a few minutes, and luckily no one saw my stupid dance seeing as i was on my own. oh, how i loved that cow.
other stupid injuries i suffered on the farm include standing on a used syringe, being kicked in the head and bollocks, locking my finger in between two gates causing my fingernail to drop off, being electrocuted whilst power washing next to a wet plug socket, getting into a scrap with a workmate and having numerous fat heifers stand on my toes. i can't believe how accident-prone i was back then. it's a fucking miracle i'm still in one piece.
since then, i've somehow fucked my knees up and my hands have reached the stage where they look like they've been dangled in a blender. surprisingly i've never broken any bones, thank Christ.
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