[STM]

Originally posted by cultofcthulu.net:
Wise is the Cultist who anoints the pregnant belly carrying his imminent spawn. The anointing is to be done with green slime made out of non-toxic substances (such as green food coloring and clear Karo Syrup). Simply drizzle the jade ichor upon the vessel’s baby bump, then proceed to rub it around as the Cultist feels inclined. My recommendation is to wait until at least seven months have transpired before performing the anointing ritual.

Completely serious.