I know. Weird, isn't it?
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In my experience, that mindset usually turns girls off.
Most of them are happy to go down on you, even moreso if you show a little dominance. One of my friends had the same attitude you have, and his girl saw him as a bit of a pussy. A little assertiveness/selfishness in bed can be quite titillating (as long as you don't overdo it, of course). You can always return the favor if it bothers you so much. 69 it up.
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It's not that I don't want to be dominant or selfish. If the girl liked that I'd have no problem being so. It's just... mhm, I don't know how to explain it.
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Yeah, lick that vagina up good. It tastes beautiful if they keep it clean.
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I have absolutely no sexual experience, but I think I would prefer to give head to a guy (though I would prefer to have sex with a girl).