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But don't you see, that's where the pretentious part comes in. Pretentiousness makes the world go round, genitaliafeces. Besides, isn't your utter rage just proof of my expertise?
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By Jove, you're right! No - wait - because that wasn't rage, just contempt. You've failed as a troll, but you still might make it as a dickshit. Don't waste your chance.
But seriously, folks, I'm heading towards eighteen now and I've never had a job. I do need to get one, but - before you're fifteen? You should laze around while your parents still buy everything for you.