Well if somebody came up to me and said "You are gay!" I wouldn't be insulted because it's true.......
Yeah it is kinda an insult these days but mostly now it is just used to refer to one type of a person without the intention of insult. These days I find that if you want to insult somebody by saying you are attracted to the same sex, people say fag or faggot. At least on Xbox Live anyway. But where I live it's rare now you hear somebody use Gay to insult a person.
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Material designed to make people sexually aroused generally involves ethics—making the receiver commit mental adultery with that person.
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Well it's not like your partner is goona say "I know you've been cheating on me! Mentally!!!!!"
So considering I have watched porn together with a lover how bad does that make me?