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We can help you get through it if you want, but trolling us is just pushing us away, and we're no good to you if you've pissed us off, as you can clearly see.
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So true. The whole how-the-hell-could-someone-outside-the-situation-possibly-understand sensation is an unforgiving bitch who makes bad sandwiches, especially in a context where my close friends/academics/family are so grotesquely disparate that even
my apeshit lunacy can't even find a silver lining to it all. I'm also in psychologist limbo at the moment, which sure as hell isn't doing any favors... that's lent itself to a situation where I've been off my antidepressant for over a week, and I'll be damned if my brain hasn't been all kinds of wonky as that cognitive functionality has worn off. To maintain a semblance of mental excitation, I've been chasing dragons like you wouldn't believe. Christ, I've even started playing
video games again.
I really did feel bad for a few days for being such a dick here, but argumentation is such a rush it's not even funny. Not to babble on about anything too psychosocialanalyticalish, but an aggressive mental state really
does mirror drugs/gambling/etc in its reinforcing influence on mood (and subsequent fondling of unhappy thoughts, which will then revert back to more aggression). That's one of the pervasive principles of addiction treatment; us in-recovery types sure love to get mad... it makes for a weird sort of ad hoc, bastardized high.