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DICK POWER
I thought about the Caber. It's like the Equalizer taunt made into a weapon. Better than the Eyelander, would you say? Bear in mind I die pretty quickly anyway, so something that almost kills me is probably less restrictive than something that takes 10 kills to power up...
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The Caber is only really good for dicking around or in emergencies. It doesn't crit normally (But it will with the Chargin' Targe) and the base damage is only enough to kill non-overhealed 125's. Minicrits do something like 183 and outright Crits do 300. The bomb on it can only be refilled by an ammo closet or respawning, too, so if you're using it there's a lot of going back and forth.
I briefly had the Candy Cane, then got a drop saying I'd found another one. I think I traded one of them and the other just disappeared. I also got the JAG, Claidhomer or whatever and The Medic's crossbow, though I traded the JAG. The Crossbow could be worse, but it feels like it fires/reloads just an nth too slowly. I mean, a crossbow bolt would logically go faster than an arrow, right?