Of course, if you're a real douchebag then god takes it easy on you. King David sleeps with a man's wife, sends him to the front lines of a battle designed to fail so that he can steal his wife, and god's like "Alright now, Dave. That wasn't very nice. Your next child is going to be stillborn, but every other child that you have with your ninety wives will be fine. Let this be a lesson to you."
This wasn't even the first time that David had been a cunt of this magnitude.
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My bowels hurt.
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