Hey, god. Can you make this light turn green for me before I get to it? Oh, well. Maybe next time. Holy shit! You did it, god! This motherfucking light is greener than shit! Let's be best buds forever!
This is the point where he tells the really sad story that he made up about cancer being healed, or broken bones mending of their own accord after he prayed about it.
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My bowels hurt.
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