I just watched Gooby.
Now, for those of you too lazy to watch that past the first whinely inklings of that fucking family movie violin shit at the start there, please allow me to outline this fucking atrocity of a film:
-The writer/director is named Wilson, the main character boy is named Willy
-It was literally the most mind bogglingly cliche Family Film I've ever seen. The second, the fucking second you see Gooby in his gestative teddy bear form, you know how it's going to fucking end.
-Gooby is...There is
so much wrong with Gooby's design. It's ugly, disgusting, unnecessarily Scottish, toxic waste earwax-shit ornage, (or rather brilliant neon shitsmear brown and tan) and is just generally fucking shitty to look at. He's stupid. The stupidest character.
Back to his roots in the drunken ugly fog of Scotland, Gooby has an absolutely grating and fucking catastrophic voice that crembulates through the brain and makes vast armies burst into flames. I
hate Scottish accents. My dad always tried to emulate that obscene Austin Powers
shite in his own vile horror-bloat of a voice, and they never, never
never sound good from non-live actors, so it was just a duality of hateable audio.
Fuck Gooby's fractal sound-brick of a voice. Ugh.
Oh, and there's a needlessly English maid who just disa-fucking-ppears halway through and returns, asleep, like, fifteen minutes to the end. My
ass.