The Pope gets shot on his visit to the UK and is rushed to hospital. On the way to the operating theater he whispers to the nurse, "Am I in heaven?" The nurse says "No we're just taking a shortcut through the children's ward."
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"I'm staunchly atheist, I simply don’t believe in God. But I'm still Catholic, of course. Catholicism has a much broader reach than just the religion. I'm technically Catholic, it's the box you have to tick on the census form: 'Don't believe in God, but I do still hate Rangers..'"
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