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Mustard is disgusting and so is relish.
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Okay, first of all, carefully remove your diaper made of ultra-soft tampons and make sure your dangly parts aren't rotted away.
If not, kindly go to the nearest children's play area and violently injure yourself in front of them. Tear off a limb, if possible.
Now, realize that having done that, you've left a slightly better legacy in the world than as someone who doesn't like mustard and relish.