[OANST]

Dear, sweet Irony. How have you been? I've been well. I thought I would let you know that you've been on my mind a lot lately. I know, I know. Things haven't gone well between us in the past, but I've thought of a solution to this problem.

Change. That's right. Change. I really like the idea of you, and the way that you taste on my lips, but I can't abide the fact that you hardly ever are what I want you to be. From this point on I will need you to dress up as Coincidence and talk like Good Fortune.

I'm glad that we could have this talk, and I look forward to a long and healthy relationship with you.

Love,
King Oddy
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo