A small suggestion:
When you use "these", then you may want to make it more like this:
"We need to get out of here," Said person #1
"How?" Said person #2
Rather than:
"We need to get out of here," Said person #1 "How?" Said person #2
It makes it a bit easier to read, and looks a bit more tidy. Otherwise a fine chapter.
__________________
...
:
Congratulations, Oddey, on winning FC's fanfiction competition two years running! You are clearly the man to beat!
|
|