Wear splash pants and a shirt that's too tight. Try to exhale as much as possible to extend your stomach outwards; while she may not comment on it, it's a subtle bit of machismo that will make her look at you and not at the screen. Buy her a very, very large drink, don't bother with what the drink itself is, that isn't the point. When she's about halfway done (check this by picking it up once in awhile and gauging the weight), leave the seats and go get another straw.
Now, this part is extremely important: Put the straw in her drink and only drink when she is is drinking too . Before the drink is done, spill it all over yourself when she's picking it up, tell her it's okay but you'd like her to go and get some napkins to clean it off, as you don't want to track the drink all over the theatre. While she's gone, either bring out your cellphone (if you have one) or put a bluetooth headset in your ear and turn it on. These things are both critical and I suggest you buy them right now, before you finish reading this sentence.
When she comes back, assuming you have the cellphone, gesture at the area of your splash pants that has liquid on it and give her a humble, pleading look. Lead with your eyebrows.
At this point, she will touch you. Don't be alarmed, and keep your cool. After she's done cleaning your pants, (and this is extremely important): DO NOT MAKE ANY EFFORT TO SPEAK WITH HER. Simply answer questions with yes or no or don't answer at all.
If you follow these steps (especially the stomach pushing, drink spilling and no-talking) she will be yours to have and to hold. It's a complicated process and yes, some parts sound silly, but this does work. Do not miss a single step.
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I see you jockin' me.
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