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It's not a fucking character. It's a cube. A stupid little cube. It's dumb that you nerds got so worked up over it in the first place. It's like when babies start crying in a small public place. One starts, the rest follow suit. It's like a chain reaction of argh.
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Don't worry, I already knew where you were coming from. Portal took an inanimate object and had the previous test subjects give it animation and a personality. The fact that characters were treating this heart-faced block of concrete as a friend was ridiculous, and also very funny. Fans naturally took this concept of characters loving the cube as a person by celebrating the Companion Cube as a human character.