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i'll tell them Santa is a fat, balding man who only works once a year. his job involves breaking and entering with a getaway vehicle waiting outside. all goods are most probably the work of child slave labour, not 'elfs', and his money comes from the reindeer he lets out to lonely Inuit's the rest of the year.
then i'll burst into their room screaming "hohoho".
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Mind if I use this scenario if I ever have kids?