A car battery walks into a bar and asks for a drink. 'No way,' says the barman. 'You're going to start something.'
How do you make a Christian cross?
Stamp on his foot.
How do you make a Venetian Blind?
Poke him in the eyes.
How do you get 500 Pikachus on a bus?
Pokemon.
What's the difference between a man drinking coffee and a butcher?
One stays awake, the other weighs a steak.
What's the difference between a church bell and a thief?
One peals from the steeple, the other steals from the people.
The other day I bet my butcher £50 he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said: 'No, the steaks are too high.'
The other day someone complimented me on my driving. They left a little note. It said 'Parking Fine'. So that was nice.
Still, you know what they say... Thank goodness for blinds, or it'd be curtains for us all!
LOL
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