[iliodd]

WHOO-EE! WHEEEEE-HA! WOOOOOOO-EE!

(Shot of George Bush waving his cowboy hat in the air as he rides a bomb falling towards the city of Kabul)

We're launching $2 million cruise missiles at $10 tents... we're denouncing the Taliban as an oppressive regime after refusing, time and again, to help in humanitarian efforts... and most sickeningly of all, we're rallying behind a president whose singular function for the past month has been to hide behind his desk and occasionally come out to make a carefully tuned speech... how long can it be before we hit rock bottom?

On September 10th, George Bush was sliding in the polls. Congress was preparing for what looked like the most partisan session in years, and Democrats, albeit moderates, were eyeing a majority in the House come '02.

Then came Dubya's deus ex machina, in the form of a truly tragic event with which he could conveniently combine all of his horrible policies into one justifiable jumble. We shouldn't buy Arabian oil anymore, so we can tear up Alaska to keep our SUV's full of gas and our skies full of smog. We have an economic excuse to add even more onto the extensive tax cuts that Dubya promised the rich. We have justification for the isolationism that so many ultra-corservatives have sought for years. And best of all, we've got a war to fight! Lord knows Dubya's been dying for a chance to push his missile-defence system (even though the enemy is armed with box cutters).

And he's keeping his eye on the clock, too. The next election is all too close, and he's not too dumb to know that a long, protracted, and ultimately pointless war against a country racked by abject poverty can only increase his chances of another dirty victory in '04.

Like Daddy before him, Dubya is riding high - a 90% approval rating - with a war in the Middle East. Let's hope this one-term thing runs in the family.

And if not, may God help us all.