Woo, 3000 posts! I don't think I'm even up to 1000 yet. Shows how much I post
Anyway, onto the story, I loved that line
“Just a psycho slig who thinks he can break the rules and beat up everyone,” Anni replied, a fair and impartial witness to Nick’s character.
I also noticed the foreshadowing here:
Nick would later blame everything that followed on that glare. Had the glare not been there, the next two years might have been completely different for everyone. Nick was far from the factory on the day it all came together, but he heard about it in greater detail than most, and could guess more than most, and he blamed it all on the expression on her face that day, because that way he never had to blame any part of it on himself.
So I'm curious to see just how you write about the next two years
I'm also very curious as to what the conversation in part 4 that you decided not to include is. Is there any chance you could provide linkage?
And why won't the blue wire work?