You didn't look up what a Mary Sue was, did you? Now... seeing as we're together... oh, and I should be the next one to post, you did so last... I may just kill you. Weird blue Slig? I didn't even realise you were blue. Eek! A blue Slig with knives and uber-goggles? I think Tok may be a little untrustworthy. He may even knock Ackro on the back of the head and take him to Arnie.
So, this is my advice (and please
don't leave, this is only a small thing really).
- Remove the bit about the uber-lifespan.
- Make his skin green.
- Don't make him sadistic and self-obsessed, but with a sensitive side.
- Tell us what Z.A.P. means, apart from spelling out 'zap'.
- Make his backstory a bit more believable... or a joke. Not in the middle.
~I hope you consider this carefully, and don't leave.
Enchilado
EDIT: Wow, so many people posted while I was writing that.