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You, sir, are saying that No True Religion is atheistic. In the definition that you gave me, there was no mention that a god was required.
I have shown that my religion does meet the criteria for being a religion, and you are throwing that away on the grounds that it doesn't have a god. If we actually believed in Satan, would you be happy with our claim that it is a religion? Would it please you so much if we thought we'd all go to hell after we died? Why does one little thing change whether or not Satanism is a religion?
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The definition of religion clearly states that religions contain explanations of those events as it pertains to a supernatural being or process.
Also, you have not shown that it meets those criteria. In fact, you have shown that it doesn't.