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How many are going to St. Ives
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This is a totally inappropriate time to bring this up, so....
I once knew this guy named Ivan who worked at a computer-related volunteer job I used to also volunteer at. He lived there as a night watchman in a small RV packed with crap; hardly enough room to move.
This guy was so nasty his face was perpetually greasy and his hair... God, his hair was sopping... like he had a fetish for rubbing low-quality cheese pizzas in it. His breath smelled like burning cow manure and hot garbage. Like death itself.
he also frequently rode on the forklift moving pallets around. Oh god that poor hard forklift seat... when he sat down his greasy crack hung out of his already low riding illfitting bluejeans with a blackened waistband, and he wore a grease-darkened purple puffy jacket all year long which he repaired the probably 30 years he's had it with several layers of duct tape.
...and in that hot hot warehouse in the summertime.... the stench.... and the greasy sweat which soaked his body, rolling down his back and into his crack as he operated the forklift made me throw up in my mouth a little each time. His ass looked like two hams pressed together tightly- just a flat slab of body with a seam running down.
We called him "St. Ives" because he sure needed some.
Answer THAT riddle.