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A pylon? Ridiculous. You couldn't stay hard or even remotely upright for him even if you tried. That makes several other members superior to you, you pylon-wannabe ass-douche dick fuck. Yeah, I totally just said that.
Nah, you're all right. 
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I got the idea from the Pylon in my room. I use it to trumpet fart noises at children. Fo' reelz.
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=O If you went on livejournal.com and said that...
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Good thing nothing about Livejournal or its majority userbase appeals to me at all, huh? Idiot.