I'm not quite sure where I fit in. I had a dominant mother and a missing father. Growing up I had two sisters and being very shy myself they were my only friends. So I played house with them and played with stuffed animals. I'm told the way I sit is very feminine like. I swear the only reason I don't cut my nails is because I'm lazy and the only reason they look so nice is because I was always told it was a bad habit to bite your nails.
Anyways when it comes to romance in a relationship I very much always wish I was in the female's position, but again I swear it's just cus I like romantic stuff and I'm just not the 'tough' kinda guy.
I've always been attracted to women and have had a couple really nice relationships with a few of them. I used to always be like, 'I have no problems with gayz as long as they don't hit on me lolol'. However one day in my silly sexual pursuits on xat.com/OWF I met Max. I had been hitting on girls all day, but hadn't been able to do anything with them so I was a bit frustrated. So anyways I decide to hit on Max for the lulz, but unlike the girls he wouldn't play with me any. Feeling that I was a sexual god I was determined to make Max want me. Instead I ended up finding myself wanting him more then anything. I'll never forget that pain. I was so embarrassed when I thought I had to yawn, but instead moaned very loudly.
Well I was very confused by these feelings thinking myself straight. I then thought I had just chosen to be 'gay', but I couldn't for the life of me find any other guys sexually interesting(this is before I met Joey boy of course). Not long after that I developed feelings for a very flirtatious girl at my school. I had managed to start crushing her real hard before I realized she wanted to be a dude. A lot of my friends began to tease me, calling me gay. I was always so quick to say that I wasn't gay like it was some sort of undesirable disease. My sister had been for a few years being very pro-gay(a fangirl who loves the Itachi x Sasuke pairing) and introduced me to a show called Queer as Folk. I felt so embarrassed renting the dvds, but I fell in love with the show and started to get a better understanding of how other people felt in similar situations. It was then that I believed I was pansexual. Sexually I was straight, but I knew there was more to a relationship then just sex and could be attracted to people of the same sex for different qualities.
The only thing that throws me off kilter is one day at school during spirit week there was a 'cross dressing' day. My sisters dressed up as guys and had an incredibly fun time helping me to look like a woman. I have to say the amount of attention I got was very surprising as normally most people didn't give me so much as a second glance. While my face was a dead give away, my body could easily be mistaken as a female's, and my characteristics matched. I wore a blond wig that covered most of my face to help disguise the fact I was a dude. I had been hit on by both girls and guys in my classes who were certain that I was a new student. My class mates in my Government class pointed out that I sat and acted like a woman with such ease they thought I had a lot of practice cross dressing, but it was my first and only time. Overall I had a blast doing it and am not sure exactly what that makes me.
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