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Just when I think you can't get gayer... you admit to wearing cutoffs. Please tell me you don't do that thing where you cut them off so short that the pockets are visible below the legline.
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Oh GOD no! I think that's just tasteless really. As you've found with your jeans, usually the knees wear out in them so I cut them off just above the knee and wear em like that.
Hell, at this pace I'll bet you thought I was cutting the ass cheeks out on them too? O_O