[Anonyman!]

Look at the evidence from my point of view and it's quite obvious that you don't exist, to me I can be sure that I am real because I think, the very idea of thinking means that there must be something or someone behind these misty eyes of mine.

You however are one of these other people, and as such I could not know if you exist or not, I mean I'm sure at the other end of a computer somewhere there's your body sitting there but how do I know you think? You may just be a mechanical process, a circuit board; in the immortal words of Ebenezer Scrooge 'There's more of gravy than there is of grave about you'. You might also be a mutant, you may think but lack the various intricacies and eccentricities that make my mind my own, when I see violet you could see red and vice versa. I can't for one second imagine I'm safe in my picture of me as the mental benchmark for the human race with you there.

And even worse sir, even worse, you are an atheist. You do not have a God, no deity to back you up in times of epistemological peril and no higher being to substantiate your mental existence. If you don't believe in the creator then how in His name can you expect Him to believe in you?

In fact you threaten my mental stability, you are the metaphysical nails on my blackboard and you are the quatric equation on my maths test. Your very being causes me to squirm in dread, for I fear that with the inclusion of you in the philosophical plane all I once thought to be true will crumble to ashes around me.

You sir, are an Other, an Alien and I must bid you farewell before you poison my thoughts anymore.
Is this the biggest pile of crap I've ever typed or what?

None of that made any sense. At all.


You deserve a cookie.

Edit:

Don't listen to them. Your spelling is fine. Also, please be a fundamentalist christian.

This also deserves a cookie. And to think I thought I couldn't respect you more.