[Venks]

About a year ago I was considering suicide. It was nearing the end of my senior year at High School and well I was going to fail. It wasn't really the fact that I was going to fail that made me want to kill myself, but just a lot of things that all came together that caused me a huge deal of stress.
*My family was falling apart.
*My mother continually threatened to kick one of my sisters out of the house, and my step father had kicked me out of the house twice.
*My parents were struggling with their relationship and started going to relationship counseling.
*The girl of my dreams that I had been dating for over a year cheated on me and we broke up.
*The thought that the chance of me ever obtaining my dream job was extremely remote.
*I had always been a shy kid and never really had any friends. The friends I had finally earned were beginning to turn their backs on me.
*Trying to get over my ex I tried to get with another girl I used to have a crush on and she shot me down.

As stupid as it was all of these things began to make me feel incredibly depressed and worthless. I would think about how everyone dies in the end so what was the point of living anyways? In my time of desperation I reached out to the only person available at the time my step father and he was able to make me come back to rationale thought. I just decided not to care about anything that stressed me out anymore. And to do what ever I wanted just cus. I skipped all of my classes every day for the last weeks of school and just devoted all of my time to distracting myself from everything. Somehow magically I managed to graduate and the girl who shot me down is now my boyfriend/girlfriend. I live away from my family now, and I do feel bad about it sometimes cus I was sort of the mediator of the family, but I live an almost stress free life now.

Edit: Now that I think back to it I think how much I thought about death had a huge impact on everything. I had recently completed an essay on my life philosophy and it had got me thinking about religion and life after death. Seeing as I'm atheist I don't really believe in life after death. I just believe I cease to be. No emotions, thoughts, or consciousness. Just empty black meaningless void. I won't be able to fear death when I'm dead, or so I believe, but the thought of death while I was alive would always cause me to inwardly panic. I mean there is no reason to fear what you have no control over, but I just can't help it.
To this day I still think about death a lot, but I'm slightly more accepting of it. When it's my time it is just my time. I need to embrace that and just enjoy life for what it is in the present.