I only saw one dead person, and that’s only because the stupid nurses took down the ‘do not enter’ sign off his door about ten minutes before the morguetricians got there and I wandered in unwittingly, knocking and uttering ‘Hello?’ as we do when curtains are drawn to respect the patients’ privacy. In retrospect I wish I’d just barged in and started shouting ‘What would you like for dinner?’ as though he were merely asleep. That would teach those nurses not to be so impatient. Instead I just retreated calmly and pushed a screen across the door so no one else would make the same mistake. Then the nurse came and shoved it out the way, looking rather annoyed. Stupid nurses. Except you, DI.
What in the hospital makes me want to wank? A male staff changing room that anyone could wander in to, but won’t because my shift ends so late.
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