That was better than the last chapter. I like the dream bit; it's vuage, but in a good way (looks like this is going to tie in with SligStorm). A word of advice though, when a different character starts speaking start a new line/paragraph. For example, instead of
"Don't you see the freakin' sign, you crap?!" He pointed at the sign, which said: "NO TALKING TO FELLOW EMPLOYEES" "Employees? More like slaves." Richard muttered. "Are you deaf?! I said: No talking, you worthless pieces of garbage! You're lucky Molluck doesn't allow me to use my gun!" the Slig guard said, beating Richard 12 more times.
Consider
"Don't you see the freakin' sign, you crap?!" He pointed at the sign, which said: "NO TALKING TO FELLOW EMPLOYEES"
"Employees? More like slaves." Richard muttered.
"Are you deaf?! I said: No talking, you worthless pieces of garbage! You're lucky Molluck doesn't allow me to use my gun!" the Slig guard said, beating Richard 12 more times.
But apart from that it's good.
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