Not as bad as I was expecting, though it's far too early to tell if I like this or not. But for now here are some tips: Try to add more detail and describing words. If you can, use metaphores and similies (they are life-savors when you don't want to describe things in lots of detail). Also, try to describe what the charactors are feeling; were all Mudokons and Glukkons friends? Or did some of them dislike each other (e.g. bullies and victims)? Where they friends with the Sligs? Or did they stay away from them? Did they eat pie? Ok, that last one was a joke, but you get what I mean.
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