[Wired]

A very happy birthday to my very close bumchum Mr Hobo Jenkins. Over the last couple of years, I’ve come to see him less as an online bully and more of a caring, sensitive lovephile who is really willing to do dirty things to please the raw, unfetered desires of others. So, it is with great honour that I hereby declare this day to be Hobo’s birthday, a date to be celebrated every year as the anniversary of the time the fabled man himself first blessed the world with his extra-wombic presence. I wish I could have been there.

Jolly festivities, mein humoursister.