[GlacierDragon]

I never considered Oddworld fan fiction before. But last night I got an idea in my head so I started writing. Now I have the first three chapters of a story I never planned to make. I suppose it's a bit like AO, only with a Slig for a main charactor. I thought I would put the first chapter on here just to see what people think. If people like it I will add the others, but I will limit the amount I add a week so I don't have to rush the writing. Critisism is welcomed as long as it is constructive. Enjoy!

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A quick explanation about Slig numbers: A Slig's number is decided depending on when he hatched. So for example, 5-12-3-27. The 5 means he was the fifth to be born. The 12 means he hatched on the twelfth day. The three means he hatched in the third month. And the 27 is the year he hatched. So, our main character was the fifth to hatch on the 12th of the 3rd 3027. I hope that hasn't confused you!

SHROWN

Chapter 1

I open my eyes. It takes some time for them to adjust to the darkness, but when they do I find that I’m in a small metal room. I’m lying on the ground. When I move my limbs are stiff with the cold that seeps from the floor. A beam of moonlight shines through a single glass window behind me. It falls upon the door of what I presume is my cell. The door is also made from metal, and there is another window in the middle of it, but this one has several bars crisscrossing through it rather than a pane of glass.

“Hey, what’s your name?” a voice whispers. I jump alert at the sudden sound. Surprisingly, I still have my mask and my metal legs, which is strange as these are usually taken from Sligs who ‘break the rules’. I grope around in the darkness but I can’t find my gun. I wasn’t expecting it to be here but it was worth looking for anyway.

“Can you hear me?” says the voice again. I walk to the door and peer through the window. Opposite my cell is another cell. The two are probably identical. A Slig looks through the window at me. He looks worried.

“My number is 5-12-3-27,” I say flatly.

The Slig seems happy I have spoken to him. “I’m 14-9-1-27,” he says, “but you can call me Zevenk.”

“Zevenk,” I nod. “I’m Shrown.” After a pause, I add, “Where are we?”

Zevenk looks as if he is about to speak, but instead he quickly ducks out of sight. I begin to ask him what he is doing, but then a Big Bro Slig stalks past, his mechanical legs clanking on the floor. He looks at me with a mixture of suspicion and disgust on his face. He disappears from sight as he moves past my cell, but I can still hear his legs buzzing and clicking. When the sound has faded, Zevenk reappears.

“Sorry,” he says, “but they don’t like us talking. Anyway, you’re telling me you don’t know where we are? No one told you?”

I shake my head. “I can’t remember much,” I answer, which is the truth.

He sighs. “This is a prison for criminal Sligs. They put us to work here, like Mudokon slaves.”

Mudokon slaves, ah, now my memory returns. I know why I am here. I defied orders to kill a Mudokon that had tried to escape from the factory I work in. I just couldn’t find it within myself to pull the trigger. After all, the poor thing was defenceless and scared out of its skin. It would have been slaughter. Besides, I couldn’t blame it for wanting to escape the factory. I hated it there myself. I tell you, ever since I first witnessed two Sligs beating a slave to death my thoughts have been different.

“I’m here because I killed a Glukkon,” Zevenk continues. “The idiot was always bossing me around. So I shot him. Why are you here?”

I consider telling my story to this guy I have known for less than three minutes. But then I decide to stay with what I said before.

“Like I said, I can’t remember anything.”

“Too bad,” he replies. “I bet you have a good story to tell.”

Yeh right, I think as I sit back down on the floor. It is absolutely freezing but I force myself to put up with it. I close my eyes to try and get some sleep.


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So tell me what you think please?