You cannot quantify something like that and on what level someone will take it.
For an example:
I frequently use homophobic slurs or whatever to good friends but it isn't meant in the same way as if some northern youth with a shaved head is shouting it across the street at someone.
It is easy to see where the line should be drawn in an argument, and it is also easy to see when a line has been crossed. Unfortunately we have to do it on a case by case basis so we can't have set levels of this is allowed this isn't.
Does everyone follow?
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