OOC: I couldn't be happier with everything right now
Slaveless, I'm absolutely thrilled you decided to join, and your characters are wonderful <3
Just one thing;
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OOC: oops forgot to add my last post was a flashback 2 years earlier! that means he was 28 now this is present day he is 30 now
IC: 2 years had passed since i found the village they took me in giving me a single tent in the back, i maneged to survive nearly 3 attacks oon the village we lost many brave warriors.(NPC) it was nearly dawn when i was awoken i walked out side to smell the cool crisp air. tomarrow i would make my secret sole attack on the barracks across from me. " One day i shall have my revenge"
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There has only been one attack on the village so far, and Muren is curretly the only one at the Fortress. The Village itself has been destroyed, replaced by a Fortress. The attack was merely one and a half days ago.
Your 'flashback' would have been perfectly fine if it was in present tense.
Oh, and a little punctuation goes a long, looong way.
That's all.
IC:
The Fortress
Muren looked up in surprise at the Meetle Rider (Shrishiy) coming towards him. As he got closer, Muren decided to greet him.
‘Greetings and salutations, warrior! I apologise for nearly shooting you out of the sky; I usually don’t expect Airborne Cavalry to be hovering above my Fortress.’ He smiled, though grimly.
Muren turned around, and saw some more Mudokons coming to the gates. The beacon had worked. He could almost cry in joy. He had thought for a moment that he would never see another Mudokon again, and now they were flocking to his aid.
”Excuse me” Muren heard a voice beside him,
”My friend and I are new here, how can we help and where can we sleep?” He looked around to see an Elum Rider and another young Mudokon.
“Well you, warrior can help with taking care of the beasts for now. The stables are at the very back of the Fortress. It shouldn’t be too hard, there’s only your Elum and this lad’s Meetle so far.’ He said to the tall Rider (Haddock). “And you, little one, can help with the stables as well if you like. You can choose any tent you wish to sleep in, except my tent of course which is the large one in the very middle.” He said to the younger Flake (Grib).
The Barracks
Colonel Veleno walked outside, to see if there was anyone left. Hearing someone shriek, he looked around in alarm; turned out it was just a young Slig (Fromage). Veleno sighed loudly in annoyance.
“In future, you might want to keep your hysterical fear to yourself.” He called out to the Slig.
#034 trotted back to his master, eager to receive another order.