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I see what you're saying but the problem is that someone who doesn't know any better may hear your jokes and think that it's okay to say that sort of thing for real. Then you get situations like I mentioned before, or the time that a friend was asked whether the skullcap was there to hide his horns.
In either case, joke or no, it's quite offensive and unpleasant to hear. Not even my closest friends can get away with making jokes like that.
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In regard to the effect the things I say, anything I say, has on those who are incapable to grasp what I'm talking about – it is a rather minor thing to mention. Am I supposed to censor myself in case I'm in earshot of an impressionable youngster, for instance? Seems more than a little silly. Besides, I only talk like that to people who share that humour and get it, I don't walk up to random grannies or toddlers and say 'Jew-pigs, eh?' and see a dawning realisation behind their eyes.
It just seems you're being sensitive, which is fine and acceptable, as long as you're aware you are being so. I used to be uber-sensitive if friends used gay=bad or fag, for which there used to be zero tolerance! Now it doesn't particularly bother me, and I do have every right to bothered just as you do. But I wouldn’t presume to call those people 'unpleasant', just insensitive to my own personal feelings on whatever matter.