:
|
I don't check the Fan Corner nearly as much as I should/used to, but I think I'll make a comeback.
It sounds good to me, though there are a few odd descriptive terms ("spray obnoxiously from his limp body") that sound rather strained.
|
Mitsur wrote the zombie part, I wrote everything else. Changed it to something more suitable of the situation.
:
|
You could create a much more apocalyptic atmosphere by describing the environment around him that provides clues to the events of the Mortem, both on a widespread and localized scale, using familiar objects to drive the point home, for example: an abandoned playground with an old doll, and evidence of a struggle like rotten body parts or broken glass; a darkened sky from the ash of the worldwide urban fires, and black rain because of it; or a street of cars from an old traffic jam, some of which have bodies inside, others with "living" zombies, and the smashed windows through which they were bitten...
|
URBAN FIRES:
That kind of stuff will be featured in other installments,
TRAFFIC JAM RUINS:
You did read the first one, right?
BLACK RAIN:
I could respond to that, but that's another thing that would be releasing too much info if discussed. Let's just say its in there.