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I think you should recruit your own army of five year-olds to do your evil bidding. Then go back to the park, set up a base on the top of the monkey bars and order them around like a Real, Real-Time Strategy game.
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xD That's genius.
The kid himself is scary though, where were his parents?!
Are you a Slig fan? Maybe Abe was possessing him... I'll have to keep an eye out.