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The ending of the first chapter scared me a bit. And having Earthlings being the bad guys is a great twist- since we've never really learned the story of Fangus, you've pretty much got free reign here. I'm interested in seeing where this goes.
Otherwise, I pretty much agree with skillya- the chapters need to be much longer and more descriptive, and the grammar and punctuation could use some work, but it has potential.
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thanks
grammer isn't really my best subject
ill add some stuff to the chapters.other than that im glad you like it.
like i said its my first story.
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I'm a genius no several geniuses, a gaggle, a swarm, a flock of freakin froids.
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