[strangerdanger92]

Interesting! Although I do believe this should be moved to Non-Oddworld Art and Literature (maybe it's my anti-Fangus-ness or the fact that The Brutal Ballad of Fangus Klot was never set on Oddworld), I don't remember seeing much Fangus fanfiction. It's a good start, though I would have to say that chapters that are a paragraph long aren't very logical. I would try being a tad more descriptive, perhaps expand on Fangus' background a little, you know, give a bit more detail as to what he's feeling. Also divide the quotes up into separate lines and use an indentation or blank line between paragraphs. Other than that, I think you're on the right track.

thanks
this is actually my first story.