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  #24  
05-13-2007, 01:30 PM
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Matriar
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That becomes a strange story, I think. This all sounds like a dream but it wasn't one, was it? Abe's mother seemed to be traumatized for me.
Excuse me honesty...

But it's writen exciting and interesing, so it's good.

Though, it has some mistakes in writing...


:
He had just worked a 20-hour shift and he was glad to be off his feet.
Haha, that's so hard! Poor Abe.

:
She was clearly upset and he wanted to cheer her up. He was good at that. It was one of his charms.
He's surely charming. You got the point, perfectly, heh.
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