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That's because you're here just to ruin everyone's fun. You're like OANST's long-lost son, except more malicious.
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Yes, I am the villain. The Hitler. Here to make your "lives" complete misery because I have a greater void of a personality of your own and because I have a one inch penis. Muahaha! *flashes cape with an evil grin*
Nah, I'll stop now.