It's not in story format, and rather difficult to understand. It's all dialogue and there's nothing telling us what's happening. Make some changes, and I think it'd be pretty funny.
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"Sick cultures show a complex of symptoms such as you have named . . . but a DYING culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot."
-- Robert Heinlein in Friday
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