Since nobody 'cept Bullet Magnet turned something in after the above posts, I'll just get to the winners. Thanks to everyone who entered. Which, admittably, wasn't many people.
Splat and Bullet Magnet are teh winnars. You have the not-so-enviable privilege of working on this with me. Discussion will be later, as I have to get some other stuff finished.
Huzzah.
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