[Sl'askia]

My friends, I need to reveal to you some thing very important. I have not mentioned it before because I had only just realized it. I belive I am going through depression....and it took a while for me to realize it.
You see...as far back as I can remember...I thought I was just someone who was shy and had problems expressing herself. But recently, I started to question myself, wondering why I am the way I am. Why I seem so cold and unemotional. Why I don't feel certain emotions at all.
I was always something of an outcast, shy and prefering to be alone save for a few friends (which weren't that many at all), but looking back to my past...I realized I was more expressive back then through the spoken word. However...something started to change...something I no longer remember happened that caused me to start locking away my true self. I didn't see it as I thought I was just a 'neutral' person. Time passed and it gradually got worse and worse.
When I joined the forums, it kind of lifted some what...as I had found a new means of communicating with others and found new friends, people I could share what I enjoy doing the most with (telling stories, drawing pics). But...that dark self...the depression...recently found a way around it. You might have noticed how I haven't been turning out as many fic chaps and pics lately...well thats part of the reason. I now have little moditifation to do much of anything...my job has suffered too..and thats a bad thing since I am in the military. Plus I had started to shut out and avoid those who I called friends. Trust me...it took a lot to get me to write this post.
I only reconagized it now because someone posted in another board about their about with depression...and discovered striking similarities to what was going on with myself. But I probably wouldn't have given it second thought if an incident on a topic in FC didn't start making wonder about myself before hand. Though that incident was negitive...I am grateful for having it now...as who knows how much longer I would have continued on without questioning why I am the way I am....if I ever did before it was too late.
But now that I know...I want to take steps to help myself. I have made the first step, identifying that I have a problem, that I am suffering from depression. I have already started the process of healing...by telling my co-workers and friends, and soon I will make my family aware of this. I will need all of your help and support to beat this though...as depression is a nasty thing...and one should not fight it alone....

Thoughts, comments, and sharing of similar feelings/experences are welcome...plz do share them.