Wow, that was quite good for a newbie. I certainly liked it. Just a few comments.
Spelling and grammar
Now, like you said, your english is not perfect, as you are from Germany. A easy way to correct this would probably be to run the translation through Microsoft word, as it would correct most of the problems. That aside, their were only a few noticiable mistakes! Good job!
Spacing
I think this would be easier and more pleasing to the eye to read if you spaced out each paragraph. If you start a new line, double space them from each other. That means to just hit the return or enter key after you finish a paragraph. You should also do this when different characters are talking.
Once again, this was quite good, and I would like to see more!
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